I don’t remember when exactly my sister entered her abusive relationship, but I remembered the torment. Our house was vandalized by her boyfriend. He made several threats to her and our lives. It was like living a nightmare. At one point my mom made the decision for her to either dump her boyfriend or leave. My sister chose to leave.
Over the years of watching her in this relationship, there were so many incidents. So many encounters and interventions. It was heartbreaking not only to watch, but also realizing my sister could not fully see or receive sound instruction due to the history of abuse. Friends and family saw the abuse and would speak to her. I had neighbors even ask me how they could help. Nothing we said or did seemed to stick. I knew that God would have to save her. God would have to change her mind.
Needless to say, our sisterhood was strained. At times, I was very mad and angry that she would not listen to me-or anyone else it seemed. I did not know what else to do for her but fast and pray. I can recount numerous times God woke me up to intercede. One distinct time I came home from school and work. During that time, I would pray in my bedroom from 10-11p and then start my studies again. I heard the word “protection”. At first I did not understand, and kept with my own personal prayers. The second time I heard the word, I started to pray in that direction. I really felt the move of God and like he was telling me what to pray. I finished my prayer hour. Within 15 minutes after finishing, I could hear soft crying on the porch.
My windows were open due to the nice weather and I didn’t know if it was our neighbors TV or an actual person. To make a long story short, it was my sister. Her boyfriend followed her home. They were on the front porch and he had a gun. He was going to harm not only her, but my family and was trying to enter the house.
Several things happened all at once but it was nothing short of a miracle. My sister was able to get inside the house, and her boyfriend could not open the unlocked front door. We had two Great Danes at the time, and our dogs barking made him leave the property. No one was harmed. In fact, my mom came downstairs. She didn’t hear the loud arguing, she didn’t hear the two dogs barking. She said she woke up peacefully, but with a feeling to go check the house.
They say a father’s love, protects his daughter from the outside world. He teaches her, self value, self worth. He gives her an identity. My dad wasn’t that way at all. He was extremely abusive and a narcissist. No one was more important than himself, and his needs. I believe the abusive and violent relationship my sister had for nearly a decade was because of the abuse she saw in her childhood.
The United Nations released a report in 2017 stating the number one killer of women around the world is domestic violence. Here in the US the same statistic holds for African American women aged 15-44. My sister was in that relationship for almost a decade. I believe it was Jesus who allowed her to live, and gave her the strength to finally walk away.
More About the Author-
Crystal Wilhoite is a Scientist, Small Business Owner, and Ministry Leader. She also happens to be my younger sister and best friend. Crystal prayed for my salvation for over a 13 years, she discipled me, and was the first person to identify my spiritual gifting's. Crystal reinforced the principles of prayer, fasting, and reading my bible. I firmly believe that I am the woman of God that I am because of her discipleship. My life has been enriched and blessed because of her presence in it.
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